Since I seem to have attracted many readers when I wrote about mistaken assumptions about sex, I thought I might discuss the most common mistaken assumption of all: That we are all having great sex lives!
According to Dr. Laura Berman, a well-known sex expert, 40 million American adults are leading sexless lives, that’s 1 in 5 of us, and 20% of marriages. Over 50% of us are dissatisfied with our sex lives. You know, if this was a disease, we’d probably be calling it an epidemic about now.
Why care about sex? Because a regular, healthy sex life helps you look 7-12 years younger, improves your immune function by 33% and releases natural pain relievers within the body. Intimacy with a loving partner is a great way to extend your life while feeling tremendous!
I’d be willing to bet that at least one of the reasons why so many of us avoid closeness with others as we age, is embarrassment about our own body image, and general critical feelings about ourselves. This situation is of course not helped by American advertising, which constantly bombards us with the images of young, perfect, photo-shopped bodies. Who can compete with that???
Dr. Oz spoke about this yesterday on ABC and recommended that we check out his “Happiness Quotient” Quiz to see how we really feel about our own bodies right now. He calls it your YOU-Q Inner and Outer Beauty Quiz. This is interesting because he encourages you to compare yourself right now to your “potential self.” In a large survey, most men and women ended up in the 95 to 99 range on his scale. I just took it, and got a 125.
What is most interesting to me, is that I know if I had taken this same test five years ago, during the worst of my midlife changes, my score would have been much lower. I truly felt like a loser personally and professionally, and did not believe it was even in the realm of possible, that anyone would ever love me again. Finding no way to love myself, how could I believe that others would ever find me attractive again.
This shows me what a difference midlife transformation can make. Putting all of your time and energy into changing yourself at midlife, creates all kinds of other positive possibilities. One thing just leads to another in a positive chain reaction, until you may finally find yourself with your best life ever!
