Now there’s a great prompt to help you think about ways to change your priorities at midlife.
I’ve decided the most important message I would like my life to express is:
Never give up on yourself.
I have been so tempted at times to give up on myself and others in my life. I know most of you are confronting a financial crisis right now, but mine came earlier.
Eight months after I lost my job and could not find another one no matter what I tried, I was in crisis. My life felt like it was slowly disappearing down the toilet and I honestly had no idea where my next house payment was coming from. Desperation set in.
I remember sitting in my living room, one sultry July day, sweaty and depressed, considering my options. The TV happened to be on and Richard Gere was speaking to the host of some talk show. I turned up the volume because I generally enjoy his world view. At the end of his time, the host ask him for a few final words. He seemed to look me straight in the eyes and say, “Hang on, it all changes.”
These are the words I would share with you if you have great fear around the present crisis, not unlike those other wise words, but ever so true, “This too shall pass.”
Yes, Richard somehow captured the mystery of life for me in those five small words:
We should never EVER give up on ourselves and our dreams.
Soon after I began writing professionally, I also launched this new blog. I knew it was high time for me to step up and start to offer support and encouragement to anyone else who might be feeling like a midlife loser. I felt compelled to bolster those whose courage was faltering, and tell them not to give up on their craziest aspirations and ideals, just because they were going through a bad patch.
I believe we all have boundless potential to change at any age, and discover a life we can only imagine now. Midlife is a great time to start manifesting that unique vision you’ve been secretly nurturing for years.
I figure if my daily missives from “The Queen” help even one midlife sojourner realize their deepest, seemingly impossible fantasy, I have successfully transmitted the message of my life.
What is the message of your life? Please share it with us.
October 7, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Your Quote and the one from Richard are similar to the Course in Miracles: “Nothing is as it Appears”
There are truly sh**y moments that we all go through. I can’t paint a happy face on some of them no matter how “positive” I want to feel. They just s**k.
BUT they have moved me in a direction of greater understanding, acceptance and Peace.
They brought me to where I am now.
There are no wasted moments.
Truly, Everything changes!
nJoy
Brad
October 7, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Thanks Brad…you have a beautiful message too! -The Queen
October 10, 2008 at 1:06 am
I tuned in late - didn’t notice the time difference, but will listen to the entire program later.
It was very cool to hear H. Les Brown say he agreed with you, that you two were definitely on the same track! You are right on target, Midlife Queen. It is gratifying to know are reaching out and connecting so many folks with a message of hope and humor. Our world needs more of that.
Keep up your GREAT work!
October 10, 2008 at 1:28 pm
It’s true that everything changes! And when I’m in the midst of a cycle that doesn’t seem to be “going well,” –(which is, in itself, kind of an interesting concept, because who defines THAT? I mean, a pregnant woman could say things were not going well at all if what she focused on was her figure. . .)–anyway, it’s quite comforting to remind myself that nothing is really solid, which is another way of saying that anything can change, all in a moment. Including me. I like to ask myself whether I need to open up my definitions, because often the real problem is buried in an old, forgotten attitude that comes from an old, forgotten definition of how things are supposed to be. This is especially true of “success” and what it really means.
Rock on!
October 10, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Victoria:
Yes, the freedom of nothing solid is so scary and yet so freeing as well.
Live and learn! (hopefully!) -Laura Lee
October 18, 2008 at 11:27 am
At the risk of sounding too “airy fairy” I have to say that when I get in one of those moments of feeling like nothing is going right and possibly never will, I find watching the movie the Secret helps me break the cycle. It reminds me that not only will it pass (whatever “it” is) but I have the power to change what’s wrong with my life. Often when I think I’ve done everything I possibly can, if I look more closely I’ve missed something important because of limited thinking. You’ve clearly found the secret to turning lemons into lemonade when you turned unemployment into an opportunity to write.
Andrea
October 18, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Andrea:
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.
We are all struggling with limited thinking whether we know it or not!
My writing has freed my soul, and showed in a big way where my contributions lie!
Laura Lee
October 18, 2008 at 2:48 pm
[...] The Midlife Crisis Queen aka Laura Lee Carter is asking an important midlife question: [...]
October 22, 2008 at 6:08 pm
I love the question and your answer. One of the reason young people have such a high suicide rate, is they don’t have a history of surviving difficult times. Hopefully, as you get older you learn how to survive.
Another message: Don’t take yourself too seriously. Sometimes when I think my life is horrible, if I can just get some distance, I realize it’s all a conversation in my own head or ego.
October 22, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Thanks for your comments Cathy! I am reminded of one of my favorite sayings:
Don’t believe everything you think! -Laura Lee