Midlife Crisis Queen: The Weblog

One sentiment I enjoyed from the “Spiritual Eclectic” this week is how important it is to “do the spiritual work yourself.” Lorna Tedder knows some things about changing your life:

“Spiritual work is not something you can copy from someone else’s homework and get the same result. Their homework is specific to their spiritual needs, not yours. It’s like attending an aerobics class to slim down–others may be doing the same or similar moves in different bodies, but if you don’t move yourself, you won’t gain the benefits. You can observe others moving all you want, but if you don’t put your own energy into it, nothing’s going to happen for you.”

Reading about the lives of celebrities like Joni Mitchell, Carole King, etc. recently, reminded me again of how arrogant we all can be, especially when we have some kind of success and money. Funny how we Americans think we can purchase everything, peace of mind, self-love, self respect and self-esteem. That’s probably why we buy so many ’self-help’ books! Read a book and change your life!

WRONG!!! Although I applaud anyone’s efforts to feel better about themselves and improve their life, let me re-emphasize the fact that real personal change only comes about through emotional heavy lifting. What is that? It is spending time alone taking a hard look at yourself, how you have treated yourself and others, and how you have brought yourself to this difficult point.

Then it is taking full self-responsibility from here on out.

Taking 100% responsibility for ourselves is one of the most important steps towards genuine self-love and self-respect. When we take less than 100% self-responsibility, we operate from the victim role. (Take care of me, I’m inadequate.)

When we take more than 100% responsibility we are operating from the rescuer role.

Responsibility is best taken as a celebration, rather than a burden. It is a freeing act. Taking responsibility for ourselves takes back power over our own happiness.

We can only take action in this moment. Childhood is over. Instead of focusing on what somebody did to us in the past, focus on what you would like to create right now. No more blaming or shaming others!

Are you playing the victim or the rescuer in your life right now?

Some helpful affirmations for taking healthy self-responsibility:

· I am completely responsible for all my own feelings and actions.

· I am completely responsible for my own health and welfare.

· I give others complete responsibility for their feelings and actions.

· I take complete responsibility for making and keeping agreements, no excuses!

· I take responsibility for expressing my true essence in the world in positive and loving ways.

Yes, changing yourself and your life does take a major effort on your part. It is usually emotional and even gut wrenching, but I’m here to say it can and does happen, and it is always worth the effort.