I have been struggling with this question lately. It’s easy when we’re younger, to assume that the best is still out there somewhere, waiting for us. Our bodies and brains just feel hopeful, and everyone around us is cheering us on to greatness.
Later, perhaps in midlife, we may begin to suspect that we’ve missed the boat. For whatever reasons, we may feel like we turned out to be a loser. We weren’t able to become anything that we had hoped for. We are, after all, quite average. This feeling has a lot to do with our previous expectations of ourselves and our life, most of which were most likely created by those around us as we aged.
Midlife is our chance to re-assess all that has come before. This is our chance to embrace the fact that as we age, we slowly turn into the person we were all along. Can we love this stranger? Can we look beyond all the roles and qualities others have projected onto us, like parent, leader, scholar, bread-winner, and just accept ourselves exactly as we are?
Acceptance releases everything to be, what it already is.
It’s time to get better acquainted with the real you, flaws and all. Because only when this relationship becomes foremost in your life, your highest priority, is there a chance that you may move into a more positive and productive stage of total self-acceptance.
What does this mean? It means letting go of all of your fine illusions about who you wish you were, so you can become the best YOU there is. Then you must find new ways to embrace your true Self, no matter what anyone else thinks. Stand up to the world and say this is ME, and I’m actually quite proud of what I have become!
This is one of the major challenges of midlife. Finding true Self and then finding a way to embrace the real you. This challenge determines what comes next in your life, as you begin to renovate your priorities, and then continue on with new goals which all come from within.
June 12, 2008 at 7:57 pm |
Yes! The best is yet to come!. The nice thing is we still have a lot of years left. Hopefully we know ourselves a bit better than we did in our younger days. With that knowledge in hand, we can still go forth to accomplish many things.
Doncha love it!
I stepped out at 50 and started a web community to inspire and support women in midlife called WomenBloom (http://www.womenbloom.com). It has been one of the best experiences of my life.
Onward!
June 20, 2008 at 10:26 pm |
Saturday morning. Feeling as you have described, middle aged loser – always having a go never getting anywhere. 56 and washed up. Single and Stuck! Turned to education, just finished a degree, studied hard for three years, worked at the same job for the last 18 years, now have two jobs – one that utilises the “new” career, but still feeling like there is nowhere to go, and don’t seem to be any better at the new one! Also, getting used to two incomes but not the energy to sustain them. I put older age career change into search engine for some inspiration and came across your blog. I do love blogs, writing from the heart and reading what others have to say. Your blog has cheered me for the day. Thanks for listening.
June 21, 2008 at 1:02 am |
Dear Stenoqueen:
I for one admire your persistence and courage in going after what you want.
It may not seem like it now, but you have the power within yourself to get everything you want and need, as soon as you fully believe you are worthy and worth it.
Look at how much you have already achieved! You are on your way girl…keep at it!
Laura Lee, the Queen
June 29, 2008 at 1:38 pm |
As a 47-year-old woman who has recently changed careers, moved back to the states from living abroad for most of her twenties and thirties, is going through a bitter divorce, and is dealing with a teenager and a tween in the midst of whatever it is that they need to go through which makes them mean to their mother, I can say that the best may not be ahead, but my ability to enjoy whatever comes will make it the best–is making it the best, even now. That ability to acknowlege the present is, to me, a sign of being in midlife. It is not about what will come, it is about stopping to feel the present–as it unfolds.
Laura (blogging at http://www.rebelliousthoughtsofawoman.com)
June 29, 2008 at 2:28 pm |
As usual, the Lauras win the day!!! Thanks for your brilliant comment Laura!
“Acceptance releases everything to be, what it already is.”