I know many of you are happily single. I just heard that officially 51% of adult American women are now single and believe me, I understand why! I was also happily single and never would have married again if I hadn’t met someone who I thought I would never meet. I checked him out very carefully. I wasn’t going to be fooled this time! And I wasn’t.
Now I am surprised daily to experience the advantages of a caring, loving relationship. The bottom line for me is the fantastic feeling that someone is watching over me with care and concern 24-hours a day, and he loves just me. It makes such a difference that there is one person in this world who is there, and truly cares in a day-to-day way. Dr. Phil is correct on this one. Mike truly is my “soft place to fall.”
This is all new to me, so I appreciate it daily. But there are other advantages to marriage I hadn’t even thought of! I read an article by Thomas Creek, a clinical psychologist recently. He has found that he and his wife stimulate the growth of fresh neural networks for each other by sharing information and knowledge everyday. They even make a point to remember their “ah-ha” moments to share later with each other.
When we first meet and are in the euphoric first stages of love, we are so distracted that we often cannot concentrate on anything, but the presence of our loved one. I remember this stage. We are simply obsessed with their looks, their smell and that amazing feeling of being in their arms!
But even then, Mike and I had lots of intellectual discussions on every subject imaginable: string theory, parallel dimensions of life, the housing market, how things work, how our brains work…you know, everything. And we would often observe how we would think about something together, and then come to the same conclusions at exactly the same time! It was amazing to experience!
Dr. Crook suggests that there are a number of activities couples can do together to further stimulate neural network growth while also strengthening your marriage in the process:
- Take dancing lessons: the combined physical and mental challenge is a great brain workout
- Watch movies together and then discuss them: Men and women use different areas of the brain when viewing movies resulting in varying perspectives and insights
- Learn a language together: gradually incorporate new words into your discussions or sign up for Merriam-Webster’s “word of the day” at m-w.com
- Learn each other’s skills: There is no reason you can’t develop new parts of your brain. Learn something new from a master!
- Play games together: Try to outsmart each other with fun and challenging games
You get the idea! Now think up other ways you can enjoy each others’ company while also stimulating each others’ brain!
June 6, 2008 at 12:09 am
Very interesting - I’m single and I like that you found someone (how did you “check him out thoroughly?”-perhaps another post!). I used to teach ballroom dancing to mostly couples and that is a great recommendation coming from Dr Crook. I saw some fun and relaxing and dating taking place after years of growing apart.