Perhaps we should stop calling what we are going through a “midlife crisis,” and start calling it something more honorable like a “life-saving midlife rebellion.” After all, to quote Marx: “Language is practical consciousness.” A big fat midlife crisis don’t get no respect these days!
I believe midlife crisis has traditionally been identified by a man in his late 40’s or 50’s, who decides he feels trapped by his marriage and/or career, so he then goes and does something outrageous like buy a little red sports car, and maybe a hot new trophy wife to go with it. Those were the good old days! I only wish my crisis could have been so simple!!!
First of all, who can afford a sports car when they’re going through a divorce anyway? A sports car was the furthest thing from my mind when my income was cut by 75%. A couple years later I lost my job. This was when the true meaning of “crisis” set in. This was when I knew I wasn’t just going through a midlife “process” anymore. (Thank you very much, Marianne Williamson & Oprah!)
Nope, this was the real thing. This was the beginning of that disturbing certainty that I was on the edge of reaching that magical point of “nothing left to lose.” Of course I still had lots left to lose in reality, most notable my own self-respect. As I kept searching for jobs and found nothing, I began to wonder if I would lose my house next. I had visions of becoming one of the most over-educated bag ladies in my town!
But I also had the valuable commodities of solitude and time to sit and think about it all. Let’s hear it for my last regular job, the first one that ever gave me both severance and unemployment checks! These allowed me the luxury of time, to simply sit and think about ALL OF MY OPTIONS, not just the automatic or obvious ones.
How many academic librarians have you known that switched to providing matchmaking services in lieu of answering reference questions and regularly saying “SHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Yes, it’s been a wild ride for me in the past few years…a profound and life-saving rebellion.
The defining moment of my midlife crisis was when I decided to become fully myself in all that I do. I took complete ownership of my life, quit blaming others, and took 100% self-responsibility. I finally realized that I knew better than anyone in this world, what I was worth! And if I didn’t value myself, how could anyone else?
