“No matter how hard one searched, one could not find anyone in the universe more deserving of love than oneself.” -Buddha
If you are completely serious about changing the way you relate to others. If you are tired of getting into relationships that go nowhere, and you’re determined to do it different next time, there is a book you really must read cover-to-cover. And don’t just read it, absorb it, experience it in a personal way, see yourself in it as painful as that may be, so that there is a chance you may change the way you relate to others.
How to be an adult in relationships by David Richo caused me to ask myself many questions about my belief system around love. “Most people think love is a feeling,” says David, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” In this book Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships - one that focuses less on finding an ideal mate, and more on becoming a more loving and realistic person.
Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, Richo explores five hallmarks of mindful loving, and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout our lives. In inspiring and encouraging language, he shows us how a handful of steadfast commitments can lead to mature and lasting relationships.
He believes adult love is based on a mutual dedication to giving each other proper attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing the other to change and develop in their own way. These are the doorways to the joys and wealth of relationship, but too often we don’t understand the depth of these important words, and how they may manifest in our relationships.
Other topics covered include:
- becoming conscious of patterns in our relationships
- recognizing and attracting adult love
- understanding the major phases of relationships
- maintaining healthy boundaries as intimacy increases
- overcoming fears of abandonment or engulfment
- expressing anger & other emotions in adult ways
- surviving breakups with self-esteem intact
- understanding love as a spiritual & heroic journey
I read and carefully studied this book before I met my new husband, and it has made a world of difference in the way I relate to him and everyone else in my life.
Most of us had no real “instruction” in the way we relate to others, except by watching our family and friends. Here is some thought-provoking and challenging insight into why we relate the way we do, and how that might improve dramatically!
