Midlife Crisis Queen: The Weblog

“The hardest battle you will face in life is to be no one but yourself in a world which is trying its hardest to make you like everybody else.”

When life offers us opportunities for change in midlife, our first response is often anger and fear.  When faced with divorce, we may be sad that our plans and dreams have failed, and we now must start over from scratch.  When we lose our job, we are often angry that the health insurance and paycheck are not dependable anymore.  What now?

My own response to these crises was to freak out at first, and then, upon further consideration, realize the freedom of having very little left to lose.  So I tried something completely different.  I reasoned that I hated my options in terms of dating and I needed a job.  Why not start my own more personal version of a matchmaking service?  I researched this idea, while thinking about it obsessively for a month or two, then decided that time and unemployment checks were a wasting, so I launched my lovely new website and got some free publicity through my local newspaper.

The business boomed for a while.  I loved interviewing new clients and then setting up social situations for my clientele to mix and match.  We had parties, hikes, dinners and even a couple speed dating events.  It was fun!  I needed more older men for my women clients, so I signed up on Match.com to attract more for the cause.  But I also slowly realized I didn’t have the right personality for all this socializing, and I didn’t like the pressure to constantly be attracting more clients.

My original contract with my clients was six months and around that time I decided to close down the business.  I had had a few successes, but I simply didn’t want to worry about it anymore.  About that time I met a very nice man through my Match.com posting and we started dating.  I also began providing counseling to clients in midlife crisis.

So, most would say my attempt at a midlife makeover was a failure.  I would disagree.  First of all, I learned so much about myself and what I love to do, by finding out what I don’t like to do.  Second, I inadvertently met the man of my dreams through my service, while making lots of cool friends, which led to many more interesting contacts.  When my house payments ran out, I moved in with Mike and sold my house, thus freeing up some cold hard cash for other things.

Looking for a good investment?  Invest in yourself!

One of the investments I made after the non-success of my matchmaking business, was to hire a career counselor to guide me through the many options open to me now.  After a few sessions, she recommended that I try writing a free monthly column on “Dating after 50″ for a local newspaper, to attract more midlife counseling clients.  A few months later I wrote an article for an HR magazine about the trauma of losing my job for the first time at age 49.  (These articles can be viewed on my “Clips” page at: www.lauraleecarter.com)

Through these experiences and lots of encouragement from my counselor, I realized I had always pictured myself as a writer, but assumed such a choice was far too risky and irresponsible.  In other words, I just couldn’t bring myself to give myself what I really wanted!  With much more nudging, she convinced me to attend a local writing conference and there I met and hired a fantastic writing coach.  Changing careers at 50 is such a challenge.  I knew I needed all the help I could get to jump start my career.

Two years later, I am amazed at what I have accomplished, “failures” and all!  I’m writing and editing professionally, I have a popular blog, and I’m now busily working on my first e-book.  Life is good, and only because I took a chance, and failed as a professional matchmaker.