I just found an interesting essay I wrote for NPR back in November 2005:
What I believe has gone through a major transformation in the past few years.I guess it is safe to say my own period of midlife transition or crisis has completely changed my view of my life and how it works.
My midlife crisis has included a divorce at age 46, a hysterectomy at 48, and general dissatisfaction with my career as an academic librarian, which ended in job loss at age 49.
The job loss was a gigantic shock to my system, the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. I was finally completely clear that my life was not working the way I wanted it to. I spent months contemplating how I lived and what I could do differently to increase my overall life satisfaction.
Although I was already thinking quite a bit about the power of searching for something better and focusing all of my energy on positive change, the film “What the bleep do we know” expedited this process for me. I have seen this film a number of times, each time taking something new from it. I now fully believe that by changing my thought processes, I can expand my life choices and thus change my life in many positive and important ways.
Why do we keep re-creating the same realities/relationships/jobs for ourselves? Because we do not believe that there is more. We do not believe that we deserve a richer life, more fulfilling relationships and more interesting, dynamic careers. Recent research in physics suggests that when we focus our attention fully on anything, a quantum energy surge occurs which has a physical and measurable effect on our reality.
As an experiment, I focused most of my energy last fall and winter on finding the ultimate partner for myself. I had not believed in soul mates up until then, but I put all of my psychic energy into healing past hurts and believing again in love.
In January, Mike walked into my life and we have since built an amazingly positive and powerful relationship together. We started living together in May and married this past September. I am now focused on a midlife career change which Mike supports completely. I can visualize my new career and life as a professional writer, and know I will now turn this dream into reality.
March 25, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Bravo! Midlife does tend to mix it up a bit - in an effort to divest us of who we were and make room for who we ARE. I went through a similar process, which culminated in me ending my speaking career, spending 3 months in a monastery, and writing a book! I found when I got my ego out of the way - authentic life rushed in to fill the space.
I am the author of Amazing Grays A Woman’s Guide to Making the Next 50 the Best 50 *Regardless of your hair color!
Whether you know it or not - YOU are an Amazing Gray, a woman of a “certain” age who is leading the way by aging with grace, gratitude and gusto!
March 25, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Dear Maggie:
I love your way with words…when we get our egos out of the way, authentic life rushes in to fill the space. Aging is working for me. My life is better than ever. Loving yourself sure makes it easier for others to step up!
Keep up the good work! Is there any chance I could take a look at your book so I could write a review for my blog???
Laura Lee